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Talking to Farmers About Mental Health

Many farmers will not volunteer that they are struggling, so the conversation often starts with someone else. Here is how to raise it in a way that is heard.

What should you know before you start?

In the US, anyone can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and in an emergency you should call 911. Keep both in mind as you read, and know that you do not have to handle a serious situation by yourself.

Most conversations will not be emergencies. They are small, honest check-ins that make it easier to say more later.

If you are worried about safety, do not wait for the perfect moment. An imperfect conversation is better than none.

• Call or text 988 for support
• Call 911 in an emergency

Why is it hard to talk about?

Many farmers value independence and were taught that complaining is for others. Admitting stress can feel like admitting failure, especially when the farm has been in the family for generations.

There are practical reasons too. Time is short, privacy is limited in small towns, and nobody wants to be treated differently afterward. Knowing this helps you approach with patience rather than pressure.

It also helps to remember that people differ. Some will want to talk in a single conversation, and others will need several small ones over weeks before they say anything real.

How do you choose the right moment and place?

Work-side settings often feel safer than sitting across a table. Riding along in the truck, fixing a fence, or leaning on the gate can lower the stakes. Side-by-side talk is often easier than face-to-face.

Avoid bringing it up in front of others, in the middle of a stressful job or when either of you is rushed. Pick a time you can give your full attention.

What can you actually say?

Start with what you have observed, without diagnosing. Speak about your own concern in simple words and leave room for any answer, including no answer yet.

If the first try goes nowhere, that is normal. You have still shown that the door is open.

Tone matters as much as words. A calm, even voice and relaxed posture tell the person that nothing they say will shock you. Silence is fine, so allow pauses and do not rush to fill them.

• I have noticed you seem worn down. How are you doing, really?
• You have been carrying a lot. I am here if you want to talk.
• I care about you, and I am not going anywhere.
• What would make this season a little easier?

What should you avoid doing?

Try not to minimize, as in everyone gets stressed, or to fix too fast with a list of advice. Avoid blame, comparisons to other farms and pushing a person to open up more than they want to.

Do not promise to keep a safety concern secret. You can promise to keep their trust by involving only the people needed to help.

If the person is a spouse, parent or grown child, remember that family history and old tension can shape how your words land. Keep the focus on care, not on past arguments, and consider asking a doctor or counselor to help the family talk.

How do you offer help that feels useful?

Practical help often lands better than words. Offer to cover a chore, bring a meal, drive to an appointment or sit in on a call to a counselor. Specific offers are easier to accept than open ones.

Mention that doctors, counselors and many state extension programs support farm families, and that you can help find them. Local options differ, so check with your state's extension office.

Keep showing up in ordinary ways too. Stopping by with no agenda, asking about the crop or the herd and then asking how they are doing keeps the relationship warm. Trust builds slowly, and it is worth the time.

When should you act right away?

If someone talks about wanting to die, hurting themselves or having no reason to go on, treat it as serious. Stay with them if you can do so safely, help them reach 988 by call or text, or call 911 if danger is immediate.

Afterward, check in again. A follow-up message tells a person they were not a burden.

Afterward, tell the person you are glad they talked with you, and keep checking in. One conversation rarely settles things, and steady contact is what matters.

Last reviewed: November 12, 2026. Written by the Farm Safety Editorial Team. See our editorial policy.